11 February 2013

Why I Hate Valentine's Day

I hate Valentine's Day. All the pink, all the lace and frills and hearts, all the couples debating in high voices what they're going to do...it drives me nuts. You could argue that I'm just a bitter, jealous girl who scorns relationships because I'm not in one. That's really not it. I just think, what is the significance of the day? If you like a guy/girl, and a guy/girl likes you, what grain of effect does Valentine's Day have on your relationship? You like each other the same, just as any other day.

I try to ignore Valentine's Day as much as possible. So imagine my horrified surprise when some guy says, "Oh yeah, it's Valentine's Day on Friday, isn't it?" and a bunch of girls reply in shock, scandalized by his mistake, "It's on THURSDAY!"

My French teacher laughs, and says, "What girl DOESN'T know when Valentine's Day is?"

Ahem. Me! I'm sure my face turned bright red. 

So while I am trying vehemently to ignore everything about Valentine's Day, here is how I am being hindered:
  • Overenthusiastic announcements on our school TV and in the caf, "Valentine's Day is coming up! Show your love by buying all your friends a Candy Gram! Candy Grams are only 50 cents each, and they are sure to show everyone just how much you care about them!" Yeah, right. I care about you so much that I bought you a fifty-cent, red, heart-shaped lollipop that tastes like a hyperventilating hippopotamus threw up on it.
  • Excited girls everywhere, squealing and gushing and giggling, gossiping about what outfit they're going to wear, how they're going to color-coordinate ("I am TOTALLY wearing pink. Omg, ___ you should so wear red! It looks so pretty on you!! Omg we can be, like, twins!"). Yeah, cause wearing pink on Valentine's Day totally indicates love and happiness.
  • Advertisements on TV, telling me I have to attend Justice or Abercrombie because of the mega-super-awesome Valentine's Day sale they're having. "You get 2% off EACH ITEM YOU PURCHASE! What a deal! What a deal!"
  • Valentine's Day (more like Valentine's Month, really) specials. "See Lauren and Conrad in this Valentine's Day special filled with MORE drama, spice, and never-before-seen scenes!" Seriously? I don't even watch TV, and each drama is literally shoved in my face from fifty feet away where some member of my family is watching the talking box.
  • Blog updates, all giving me new DIYs for Valentine's Day and suggestions as to what I should get for my nonexistent spouse, my best friends, my mother, my father, even my teachers. "Valentine's Day is coming up, and here's why YOU should be excited!!" Hell no! I don't give a pig's nostril!
Okay, so maybe that was a bit much. Valentine's Day is pretty dumb, but there's one thing about it even I can't complain about: chocolate. The chocoholic inside me is drooling at the thought of all that yummy stuff, even if it is wrapped in shiny pink foil and shaped like a heart.

So Happy Valentine's day, everyone, and I hope you have a good one!

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