18 February 2013

What Disney Teaches Us

Remember all those Disney princesses we loved as kids? Some of us still love em. And there's nothing wrong with that. But lately I've noticed that there are--perhaps unintentional--underlying messages in each one.

For example, in "Sleeping Beauty", princess Aurora was asleep for 100 years, and she woke up with a stranger kissing her. She married him. First of all, the condition for her to wake up was that the kiss had to be one of true love. What kind of creeper falls in love with a sleeping girl in one second, and then kisses her? That is the weirdest thing ever. The prince (Prince Charming), on the other hand, teaches us that for a girl to fall madly in love with you, you need to be rich, charming, handsome, and famous.

In "The Little Mermaid", Ariel falls in love with a stranger she sees on a beach, goes to great pains to change her appearance so as to be more attractive to that stranger (with the aid of an evil lady) trading her voice in exchange. No matter, she apparently has nothing of great importance to say. The prince (Prince Charming) teaches guys to be rich, charming, handsome, and famous.

In "Aladdin", a 'street rat' falls in love with a princess (who walks around in the most revealing outfit ever) and eventually she falls back in love with him and they get married. The guy teaches us to be charming, handsome, and appear to be rich and famous.

In "Cinderella", Cinderella lives in terrible conditions. Her beauty helps her attract a rich, handsome man, and  get married and inherit his wealth. Excellent.

In short, Disney teaches us not to talk to strangers, unless they're hot. Also that all a man needs to get a girl is wealth, good looks, and fame. Actually, in "Beauty and the Beast", looks don't matter. Except in the girl.

But the Disney movies aren't all bad. They're not all chauvinistic. "Mulan" is one of the best Disney movies...ever.

And here's a magazine cover spoof I picked up off of cracked.com:


































So now we know exactly why people act the way they do. It's Disney's fault. So there.

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