23 August 2013

Professor Aditi's Guide to Wasting Time- Part I

...brought to you by the professional. You won't find a better guide anywhere else.

So kick back and enjoy the first edition of...


Let's get the pleasantries out of the way. I'm a professional time-waster. I can waste time anytime, anyplace. In fact, you might not have noticed, but I'm wasting time right now. Sneaky? Check. Pointless? Check. Yes, this is the guide for you.

Lesson One
The first step to mastering the art of wasting time is to know the all the theories and their corollaries. By familiarizing yourself with these, you will be be enriching your knowledge, and with this knowledge, you can become more adept at wasting time. And while memorizing these--yep, you guessed it: you'll be wasting time!

Theory I: Wasted time is time that could have been spent in a more productive way.
          Corollary to Theory I: All time is wasted time.
               Corollary to Theory I Proven: One can always be doing something more productive, therefore one is always wasting time.
Theory II: Wasted time is more effective when an important task is at hand.
Theory III: Wasted time is even more effective when one is reprimanded for doing so.

Lesson Two
So. You've memorized the theories. What you'll learn in lesson two is simple: ways to waste time. You can implement or improvise on these ways. The best time-wasters come up with their own ways to waste time.
  • Plan and write a guide to something completely pointless. Points for illustrations!
  • Make a list of things you hate.
  • Make a list. Of things. That you have feelings for.
  • Make a Harry Potter tumblr.
  • Write Harry Potter fanfiction.
  • Write poems.
Part II to come later. Yeah, I didn't want to make it too long. If you share this I love you.


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