What Disney Teaches Us

Remember all those Disney princesses we loved as kids? Some of us still love em. And there's nothing wrong with that. But lately I've noticed that there are--perhaps unintentional--underlying messages in each one.

For example, in "Sleeping Beauty", princess Aurora was asleep for 100 years, and she woke up with a stranger kissing her. She married him. First of all, the condition for her to wake up was that the kiss had to be one of true love. What kind of creeper falls in love with a sleeping girl in one second, and then kisses her? That is the weirdest thing ever. The prince (Prince Charming), on the other hand, teaches us that for a girl to fall madly in love with you, you need to be rich, charming, handsome, and famous.

In "The Little Mermaid", Ariel falls in love with a stranger she sees on a beach, goes to great pains to change her appearance so as to be more attractive to that stranger (with the aid of an evil lady) trading her voice in exchange. No matter, she apparently has nothing of great importance to say. The prince (Prince Charming) teaches guys to be rich, charming, handsome, and famous.

In "Aladdin", a 'street rat' falls in love with a princess (who walks around in the most revealing outfit ever) and eventually she falls back in love with him and they get married. The guy teaches us to be charming, handsome, and appear to be rich and famous.

In "Cinderella", Cinderella lives in terrible conditions. Her beauty helps her attract a rich, handsome man, and  get married and inherit his wealth. Excellent.

In short, Disney teaches us not to talk to strangers, unless they're hot. Also that all a man needs to get a girl is wealth, good looks, and fame. Actually, in "Beauty and the Beast", looks don't matter. Except in the girl.

But the Disney movies aren't all bad. They're not all chauvinistic. "Mulan" is one of the best Disney movies...ever.

And here's a magazine cover spoof I picked up off of cracked.com:

So now we know exactly why people act the way they do. It's Disney's fault. So there.

The Crazy Evolution of Man

Again, another animation. I love how the artist interacts with the drawing. Some people have so much talent!



Credit goes to boolab, a production house dedicated to motion graphics. Hope you enjoy it!

Desi Memes

I know this is short--but check out my new Google+ page, Desi Memes. If you love Indian stereotypes, this is the place for you! I manage it with a friend of mine.

Let me know what you think, and of course, add us to your circles.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/100799854145846031899/100799854145846031899/posts

What?

Skiing

Skiing is such a weird word. Skiing skiing skiing. Anyhow, I went skiing for a couple of days. Yesterday, the day before, and the day before that, to be precise. I've been skiing once before, at Massanutten Resort, where there was a green slope called "Nutten to It" (haha, get it?). It was reasonably fun, except for the fact that last year's winter was pretty terrible, with literally no snow and warm temperatures. So the snow was basically two inches off the ground.

This year, I skied at The Wisp. We planned to leave early an maybe arrive at 12-12:30 so that we'd have time for some activities. The day we began to drive to the resort, it started snowing. Awesome, right? NOPE. We got STUCK on the road, because it was too slippery. Every time my dad tried to rev up the car, there was this weird whirring noise and the smell of burning rubber. Well, we somehow got past that obstacle and by that time, we were glad to even arrive there.

We got there around, what, 7 pm. At first, we planned to just hit the sack, but then it turned out the Mountain Coaster, what we'd been looking forward to, was open until 9. The Mountain Coaster allowed the user to control the speed. We walked to the start of the coaster. It was fantastic. Anyone going to The Wisp: don't miss the coaster! The car went unbelievably fast, and to top it all off, all that secured me to the car was a puny seat belt. I could see my life flash before my eyes at every breakneck turn.

After walking back from the coaster, we stopped at the food court to get some dinner. There weren't any healthy vegetarian options (have I mentioned I'm vegetarian? My friend +Neyha Bhatia likes to call me a "Veg Head"), so we asked the chef to make us a couple of wraps. My brother had pizza, of course, just cheese, Costco size, two slices. I'm surprised he didn't gain a couple of pounds, then again, he's 9+. The wraps were ok, my mom makes better ones.

The next day, when we went down for breakfast, I had French toast with syrup. I was originally gonna order a veggie omelette, but the lady told me that they grill the omelettes on the same things as the meat. Which sucked, because I need my salt in the morning! Salt's what gives me my daily boost! Well, I had to go with the French toast. I was waiting patiently for my toast, and then my heart nearly stopped. The lady just tossed the toast onto the same grill, the very grill that was used for both omelettes and meat! Well then, my friends, why couldn't I have had the omelette? I felt like kicking myself for forgetting that no one else uses toasters for French toast. To top it all off, the toast wasn't even sweet or cinnamony! It tasted like a very bland omelette. I felt like throwing up, until I added the syrup. Nothing like sugar for taste, huh? Also for calories.

Then I went to the ski camp, because I'm no expert at skiing. I was the oldest kid in my group! Everyone else ranged from 7-10 years old, and I'm already tall for my age. I just kind of skulked around awkwardly, towering over the puny little midgets. So the skiing group I was in was level 2, which meant they'd supposedly done green slopes, and knew the basics. Well, all but three of those annoying little ants DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PUT ON THEIR FREAKING SKIS! My brother, this other girl and I had to wait at the bottom of the hill while the others tried to figure out how to jam their feet into the skis. One girl could barely ski while standing up! I'm not blaming her, but why the heck would she be in level 2 instead of Willy Wisp (beginners)?

To add insult to injury, or perhaps the other way around, the snow making machines were on for the entire 7 hours. Imagine a hundred icy knives poking into your face over and over again. Now multiply that by a thousand, that's how that felt. It was so cold, the tips of my fingers froze painfully inside my gloves. I skied fine, but everything else was torture.

To add even MORE insult, the lunch was a meager portion of mac and cheese, minus the chicken tenders for me. I don't mind mac and cheese. But I am one hungry girl. Five of the kids in my batch ate just their tenders, and didn't touch their mac and cheese. "Ew, how can you eat that?" they asked me. "Ew, mac and cheese is just so gross!" SERIOUSLY. If I am hungry, I will eat just about anything. 10 minutes after devouring the mac and cheese, I asked my instructor if there were seconds. I knew it was rude, but damn, I was starving! Can you guess what the instructor said? He said "No." I wanted to scream, because 5 kids still had their full portions of mac and cheese, and weren't planning on eating it, and here I was, so hungry I could probably eat 3 more plates full of the stuff. I almost cried as I watched each kid throw their untouched mac and cheese in the trash.

Hearing about my incessant hunger may cause you to think that I am a fat, greedy girl. No. That is not it at all. I just have a rather speedy metabolism, and any kind of activity will make me hungry hungry hungry!

That night, we went to a bar/restaurant for dinner. BAD IDEA. The veggie food a) took like 3 hours to prepare and b) tasted like rat barf. And inevitably, my head started hurting a lot. I pigged out on the desert, lemon meringue, then felt terrible about eating so much tart and walked up four flights of stairs to make up for it.

I will now take a brief intermission from complaining and smile to myself while I remember the snow tubing the next morning. Other than my headache continuation from the previous night and dehydration, the cold air whipping against my face was refreshing.

I said it was brief.

Yeah, the cold air was refreshing, but cold is never good. 6 hours later, in the car, driving back home, my throat started to kill me. By the time we got home, I could barely talk for pain. My mom made this awesome Indian herbal thing, and the pain went away so I could rest in peace. Except not in peace. I had the weirdest dream that my dad was telling me to be careful of people trying to kidnap me, and the rest of the night I was lapsing into 2 minute snoozes, then waking up and looking around in paranoia. I could not sleep. I just could not. So I woke up earlier than 7, which is my usual, I woke up around 6:42 and went downstairs.

My headache and sore throat are gone now, thank god, and I feel much better.

What's your most miserable vacation?

Merry Christmas

Well, it's that time of the year again. That time where carols and remixes are drilled into our head. That time when we are already tired of decorations before the whole thing is over. Yeah, it's Christmas again.

My parents have this weird way of telling us that they forgot to get us presents ("Oh, Aditi, we didn't have time to go out and buy presents this time."), and then acting all surprised when the presents magically turn up on Christmas morning ("I wonder how that got there!"). Really? REALLY? Well, I still love 'em for it.

I always break out in pimples around Christmas because of all those candy canes. Geez. My sugar addiction is gonna be the death of me someday. The days right before winter break, I probably eat about 3-4 candy canes a day. What is with the addiction of those things? Maybe I shouldn't have moved to America. I mean, the chances of overeating and getting fat and all that are so high! Plus, we use all these crappy measurement systems that make no sense and that no other country uses. I mean, a measurement system based on Queen Victoria's elbow? You know, a NASA project failed because the US used yards and the other party used meters. Anyways, this has virtually nothing to do with Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, most schools give us students a winter break. Also schools are not allowed to give us homework over winter break. Well, if there's plain holiday and no homework, then what are those of us who aren't on vacation supposed to freaking do? When we were in elementary school, any break from school was a welcome relief. Now? There's nothing to do! When I'm not practicing piano or dance or working on projects, what am I supposed to do? Mess around on the computer like I'm doing now? Actually, there are quite a few ideas.

• Start a blog. Sound familiar?
• Visit a museum. You could learn quite a lot about something you thought you already knew.
• Draw comics. I did this once when I was bored. My friend nearly peed his pants laughing. 
• Write a short story. Nothing like writing stories to improve your skill.
• Write a poem. The same can be said for poetry.
• Teach yourself something new. There are so many tutorials out there on the web. Learn how to cook. Learn how to make a friendship bracelet. Learn a magic trick.
• Look at old photos, old notebooks, old papers. You'll be surprised how entertaining it can be to see a younger version of yourself. Thoughts include, but are not limited to: 
• "Man, I was so stupid in 5th grade!"
• "Was that me? Seriously?"
• "HAHAHAHAHA!"
• "I hope no one decides to show this to my future spouse."
• Get outside your comfort zone. Go hiking. Listen to new music. 
• Set small challenges. Today, I am not going to check my Google+.
• Make a list (or two). Lists are fantastically fun! Make a list of things you hate, of things you love, or things that annoy the hell out of you. Anything.

Of course, if all else fails, sleep! Nothing like a little extra sleep. God knows I need it. Once again, I have gotten completely off topic. Or maybe this was my intention. I'll never know. Frankly, my brain works in a weird way. 

What do you like to do when you're bored?

Things That Annoy Me (more than they should)

I am a very negative person. I am annoyed by a lot of things, including but not limited to:

• when people are obsessed with a boy singer/boy band just cause they're hot
• when people bother me when I'm reading
• when people call me girly because I wear a dress or a skirt sometimes
• when people try anything to get attention
• when people post statuses every minutes about their doings, as if we care
• when people waste the teacher's time on purpose by asking dumb questions
• when people try to force their opinions on others (yeah, I know I'm being hypocritical)
• when girls keep combing through their hair with their fingers--are you itchy or what?
• when guys flip their hair like Justin Bieber
• when people put down their parents in public (and additionally, expect us to be sympathetic)

What do YOU hate?

The Types of Chatters

I have a lot of different types of friends, and as I chatted with them, I couldn't help noticing that they all have different styles. I also noticed a bit of a correlation between time spent online and chatting style.

• The Smiler: This person adds an emoticon onto everything. Everything. Even when it doesn't make sense. 
• "how are you? :)"
• "is she bothering you? :)"
• "aww, i'm so sorry :)"
• The Txtr: This person leaves out as many letters as they can. Their words are virtually illegible. 
• "wht r u up 2?"
• "is lf ok rt nw?"
• "thts so wrd!!"
• The Queen of Hearts: Just like the Smiler, the Queen of Hearts tags on a heart to every line. 
• "i'm reading harry potter <3"
• "i like to eat <3"
• "i'm going to the bathroom <3"
• The Novelist: This person writes paragraphs. All the time. I confess, I do this a lot. It's not all that bad because it's usually not boring. But still. Most of these examples are quite dramatic, so I shall refrain from providing an example.
• The Newsperson: This person provides you with updates, accurate to the very second, on what they are doing. Hooray! Free news!
• "i'm drinking water now"
• "doing my homework"
• "i have to pee!"
• The Lol-er: Either this person says "lol" in awkward situations, or they actually think everything is funny. 
• "i saw a pig on the way home lol"
• "i have to eat dinner sorry lol"
• "i failed my math test lol"
• The Ghetto Speaker: This person talks in ghetto language. It's actually kind of funny. They emphasize every accent and syllable.
• "naw, dat ain't no right answer!"
• "das dayum weyurd!"
• "yo dawg, how's the man?"
• The Random Typer: Whenever there's an awkward pause, this person decides to break the tension by smashing their hands onto the keyboard and pressing enter. It's not very effective.
• "asdfghjkl;"
• "asilhvjanerjerlhvjalnvwuoeghuergbe"
• "$*#&(*$)HNWHD"

Comics

Comics are a great medium to express ideas and thoughts without scaring off a reader. Often, people don't like to see long paragraphs, and they tend to form the wrong impression about the text. But comics don't face that problem at all. They're colourful, hilarious, and very enjoyable to read. Here are a couple of my favourites.

Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin, a first-grade nightmare, explores the ups and downs of school and the adventures in his own backyard with his tiger, Hobbes, who is calmer and somehow more sensible. It's amazing how Bill Watterson expresses his own thoughts through a six-year-old boy and his tiger. The comic's great because Watterson makes fun of pretty much everything in a non-offensive but satirical way. One of the reasons I like it so much is because I remember reading it as a child merely to look at the pictures. I "rediscovered" it a year back, and read the books all over again, and I discovered the cleverly hidden meanings behind each comic. I kind of had that "AHA" moment, and it was a good feeling. I read The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book a while ago, and it's a very good read by Bill Watterson himself. Very interesting.

Peanuts. The "Peanuts" gang, comprising Charlie, Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Sally, Rerun, and of course, Snoopy are around five to six years as well; the strip focuses mainly on Charlie Brown, and he goes through a rather bleak, humourously depressing life, at least from his point of view. The illustrations are not, perhaps, as lavishly detailed and coloured as other comics, but attention is drawn to the dialogue and the style simply adds to the mood of "my life isn't going so great". Charlie Brown is a normal sort of kid, like the others, going through friends and crushes, but the way he interprets each situation is hilarious. Charles Schulz, the writer of this comic, said that Charlie developed from some of the more painful aspects of his own life.

7 Reasons Chocolate Should Have Its Own God

Lots of religions have gods for multiple things. They all have different names, of course, but they are essentially god of the same things. There are gods of love: Venus, Aphrodite, Kama, Hathor, etc. There are gods of the sun: Apollo, Surya, Ra. But what about gods of chocolate? I'll give you 7 reasons that chocolate should have its own god.

1. It is essential to life. Seriously, who can live without chocolate?
2. It is a topic of research. People are trying to find out more.
3. It is a controversial subject. Just like love!
4. It tastes good. Water tastes good, and it has its own god.
5. It is found in many different forms. Bars, shakes, smoothies, coffees, syrups.
6. It looks awesome. Doesn't it? 
7. It's chocolate. Isn't that technically reason enough?

Me...As a Baby

I sure knew how to talk. :P

An Ode to Technology

I was just sitting here, when all of a sudden this idea came to me. Of course, I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but that's way more boring than writing a poem.

An Ode to Technology

Oh technology, oh technology, how wonderful are thee,

Thy usefulness and convenience are so pleasing to me.

Oh technology, oh technology, so shiny, clean and sleek,

Thy keyboard and thy monitor are perfect for a geek.

Oh technology, oh technology, thou will be in my heart,

Thou can save just anything, thou always are so smart.

Oh technology, oh technology, thy programs are so neat,

Google Chrome and Internet just cannot be beat.

Oh technology, oh technology, something’s going wrong,

Thy apps are slowing down too much, five seconds is too long.

Oh technology, oh technology, thy files are much too deep,

I’m spending long hours on thou, I’m wasting all my sleep.

Oh technology, oh technology, my eyes are now burning,

My brain has turned to mush, the gears have stopped turning.

Oh technology, oh technology, how terrible are thee,

My sleep and good eyesight are gone, what has thou done to me?

How To Annoy People...A Lot

I really need to try some of these.

1. Insist that your drive-through order is TO GO.
2. Go to a restaurant and throw a bunch of ketchup packets on the ground. Stamp on them.
3. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
4. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
5. Wave randomly at strangers. If they ask you about it, say, "I saw you at ___'s house!" Insist that it's true.
6. Walk into a restaurant and refuse to be seated. Just stuff all their mints into your pockets and walk out.
7. Yell, "Do you hear that?!". When they respond, reply with, "Never mind, it's gone."
8. Ask people what gender they are.
9. Attend a poetry recital. Then ask why the poems don't rhyme.
10. Ask people random questions and write down their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "mental health".

Hm, quite a lot of these. If I get enough, maybe I'll make a separate page of things you need to do. Haha. You know what, if I actually do one of these, I'll post a video of it. Sound good?

Things You Should Definitely Do

Here's a list of things you should DEFINITELY do, to make life a little more interesting. Note: I don't take responsibility for any trouble you may get in. :P

1. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
2. Wear a shirt that says "Life". Hand out lemons on the street.
3. Get into a crowded elevator and say "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
4. Get a Ph.D. Change your last name to "acula".
5. Get a parrot, and teach it to say, "Help! _____ turned me into a parrot!"
6. Run up to someone and say, "You're one of THEM!". Run away as fast as you can. Pretend to trip and fall down. Get back up and keep running.
7. Look into the glass wall of a store, and if someone else is on the other side looking back, yell, "Oh my god! I'm hideous!"
8. Go to McDonald's and ask for directions to Burger King.
9. When you're tardy to class, tell the teacher your pet rock had a seizure.
10. Go up to people at the mall, show them a picture of yourself and say, "Have you seen this person?"
11. Throw a ball at someone and say, "Stupid Pokemon! Get back into your Pokeball!"
12. Follow a stranger around in a store and spray everything they touch with disinfectant.
13. Hide in a broom closet and when someone walks in, say, "Ah, young one, welcome to Narnia."
14. Buy a packet of birdseed and ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. VARIATION: cheerios and donuts.
15. Go into a dressing room, wait 5 minutes, then say, "Hey, there's no toilet paper in here!"
16. Go hug a tree and then say to a stranger, "Sorry, I was having a moment."
17. Get into a taxi, point to a car and yell, "FOLLOW THAT CAR!"
18. Hide in the clothes rack at a store and when people look through the clothes, say, "Pick me! Pick me!"
19. Buy a HUGE diaper, then go up to a stranger and say, "You dropped this."
20. Go up to a lady with a daughter and say, "Your son is adorable."

Hehehehehehe. Hope you like it...and please, please don't try the majority of these.

Hilarious GIF

I know this isn't a photo, but it was too funny not to share.