Professor Aditi's Guide to Wasting Time- Part I

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PROFESSOR ADITI'S GUIDE TO WASTING TIME

Introduction
Let's get the pleasantries out of the way. I'm a professional time-waster. I can waste time anytime, anyplace. In fact, you might not have noticed, but I'm wasting time right now. Sneaky? Check. Pointless? Check. Yes, this is the guide for you.

Lesson One
The first step to mastering the art of wasting time is to know the all the theories and their corollaries. By familiarizing yourself with these, you will be be enriching your knowledge, and with this knowledge, you can become more adept at wasting time. And while memorizing these--yep, you guessed it: you'll be wasting time!

Theories
Theory I: Wasted time is time that could have been spent in a more productive way.

          Corollary to Theory I: All time is wasted time.

               Corollary to Theory I Proven: One can always be doing something more productive, therefore one is always wasting time.

Theory II: Wasted time is more effective when an important task is at hand.

Theory III: Wasted time is even more effective when one is reprimanded for doing so.

Lesson Two

So. You've memorized the theories. What you'll learn in lesson two is simple: ways to waste time. You can implement or improvise on these ways. The best time-wasters come up with their own ways to waste time.

• Plan and write a guide to something completely pointless. Points for illustrations!
• Make a list of things you hate.
• Make a list. Of things. That you have feelings for.
• Make a Harry Potter tumblr.
• Write Harry Potter fanfiction.
• Write poems.

Part II to come later. Yeah, I didn't want to make it too long. If you share this I love you.

-Aditi

Check out my new quiz!

So I created a Harry Potter quiz. Like the rhymes?

Back again!

Ok, so this time it really has been forever. But I'm back! Mostly because a friend convinced me to continue. I mean, it's summer and I'm bored out of my mind, so why not?

So right now I'm in INDIA. I arrived on the 14th of July, and it's been raining pretty much nonstop. One of the hazards of coming during monsoon season. In fact, my uncle signed my brother and me up for tennis lessons, and we've only been able to have ONE.

An upside, though, is my completely adorable baby cousin! He's about two years old, and he's sort of talking, and it's so cute!

Also I've decided to share this blog on Facebook and I'm totally embarrassed and nervous cuz people I know might read this.

Meanwhile, here's a poem I wrote some time ago, about addiction. Although it really doesn't apply to me much longer, thank god.

Addiction

When you think of addiction,
just what comes to mind?
Alcohol and cigarettes,
your insides all maligned?

Surely not your laptop,
where several websites call?
Impossible that those websites
could become your downfall.

Doesn’t seem a problem (you think),
for Facebook’s not a need.
Twitter’s not a must,
nor is your YouTube feed.

What, then, explains the longing
that tugs at your insides?
How your time will now be spent—
that longing will decide.

What explains that urge
to check your latest post?
That desire to get likes, and see
who can get the most?

“I don’t have an issue,” you say,
and in your mind you don’t.
So there’s no need to close (and think)
“I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!”

But then you visit all your friends,
and it’s there for you to see.
‘They have no life,’ you think in shock,
‘could that really be me?’

So don’t think that it’s not there—
that your issue is fiction.
You’re only fooling your own self—
‘cause you’ve got an addiction.

Like it? 

The Difference Between a Nerd and a Geek (and a Dork)

It's been a long time, guys, but suddenly while browsing LOLpics on my iPod, I remembered something that truly annoys me. People always use the words nerd and geek and dork interchangeably. Well, guess what? They are not the same.

In my mind, here is how this works.

A nerd is someone who is intelligent and likes to learn--more than the average person. A nerd may not get straight A's constantly, but they are truly interested in their subjects, unlike nearly 75% of my school. When someone is called a nerd, it can have a negative or positive connotation. For example:

guy: hey [wannabe cool person], you're such a nerd!
wannabe cool person: =(

or

guy: hey [science lover], you're such a nerd!
science lover: aw hell yeah! nerd and proud!

A geek is someone who has interests in certain topics--more than the average person. A geek will have an obsession with, say, Pokemon, or Doctor Who. Or Harry Potter. Like nerd, geek can have a positive or negative effect.

A dork is someone who either dresses weird, acts weird, or is in general strange. The word has a decidedly negative connotation, but friends often affectionately call their friends dorks.

Any person can be any one of these, or two, or three. I believe I am a geek and a nerd. If you want to be more specific, you can attach tags: I am a science/math nerd and a Harry Potter geek. Make sense?

So don't make the confusion again. I might have to eat you.

Real mint: smells a lot better than it tastes

I was so excited. So freaking excited. After a long while, my mom had finally bought me some spearmint tea!

I don't think I've mentioned that I love the flavour of mint. That is, the kind you get in little tins. Needless to say, I was not prepared for the taste of real mint.

I thought it would be fantastic. It smelled good. The tea bags. They smelled delicious.

What a rude awakening. They tasted NOTHING like the "mint" flavour that I loved so much. NOTHING. Clearly my sugar levels are much too high.

I hope that I'll like the taste better when I get used to it. It doesn't taste BAD, just...unexpected. Plus, you catch a whiff of the smell as you drink, so it gives you the illusion of mint leaves, which taste reasonable.  Spearmint tea has a lot of benefits: as well has containing a high amount of antioxidants (those lower your risk of cancer), it also lowers the levels of the male hormone androgen in your body, which causes facial hair growth.

Other foods that are high in antioxidants include:

• blueberries
• cranberries
• dried prunes (yum!)
• pecans
• apples

Luckily they all taste good.

Also, the spearmint tea makes my throat feel pretty fresh, which is awesome.

Anyways, I've got a truckload of homework to get working on. Bye.

Summer

I'm so ready for winter to be over. So ready. Please, summer, please come fast.

Wrote this after my mother commented on the weather, saying, "It almost gives an illusion that summer's here, long evenings and all." I was "struck by a passion" then, the lyrics to a poem almost sprang into my head at that moment and I had to write it down. It's not fantastic. But it's something.

Summer

Summer is gentle,

romantic, sensual,

long pleasant evenings

the gentle glow of candlelit dinners,

unrushed strolls around the neighborhood,

hand in hand with your other.

Summer is exciting,

surprising, fleeting,

water balloon fights,

the rush of amusements,

sleepovers and bonding time,

smiling with your buddies.

Summer is relaxing,

paced, drawn-out,

streams of sunlight and lazy mornings,

quiet time all by yourself,

time to collect your thoughts.

Summer is exhilarating,

passionate, overwhelming,

feeling the wind on your face,

walks along the beach,

feeling the sea spray sprinkle your face.

Summer is everything.

Why Your Writing Sucks

Yes, it does. It sucks. And mine probably sucks too. Actually, your writing has a lot of potential. Don't ask how I know. I do. And once you tap into that potential, your writing will be brilliant. It will be so riveting, so down-to-earth and astonishing that readers will not be able to look away. Everyone has that writing genius (unless they are truly idiots) and the level of your writing is determined mostly by how easily you can come to terms with your writing.

Stop trying to be grammatically correct all the time. I don't mean become lazy in your use of "your" and "you're" or "there" and "their". If you use the wrong word there, I will get one of my friends to eat you. What I mean is, stop limiting yourself to rules like: don't use fragments, don't begin a sentence with 'and' or 'but'. Those are terrible rules, and apart from English essays I want you to delete that from your brain. Think how dramatic fragments can be.

"Blood. It was everywhere, streaked on the walls, oozing from the furniture and splattered on the floor; a stark reminder of the tragedy that had just occurred."

See how effective and dramatic that was? The sentence started off with one word that was something like a slap to your cheek; it woke you up, made you blink and shudder a couple of times before you even knew what was going on.

Eliminate the details. Don't try to write like those 19th century poets. Instead of:

"Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature. The starry sky, the sea, and every sight afforded by these wonderful regions, seems still to have the power of elevating his soul from earth. Such a man has a double existence: he may suffer misery, and be overwhelmed by disappointments; yet, when he has retired into himself, he will be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around him, within whose circle no grief or folly ventures." -Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

write: 

"Though he was drowning in intense sadness and misery, he still had room in his broken heart to accept the beauties of nature. Every wondrous sight seemed to lift his soul from the earth. He was split in two: he suffered, yes, and faced disappointments, but in his own companionship he was an angel with no cares in the world." -me, my blog

Give your characters flaws. Don't turn your guys into Edward Cullen. Don't turn your girls into the epitome of perfection. Nobody is perfect, and nobody wants to read a boring book about perfect people. Give your characters interesting flaws, like serious identity issues, or a terrible family background, or a flaring temper, or excessive nervousness, or narcolepsy, or color-blindness. Mix it up. Make it interesting. Don't use cliches or stereotypes. Don't make all the popular girls blonde, like Barbie dolls. Don't turn them into typical, popular-girl, hair-flipping freaks. Haven't we all read about those before? Hmm? Don't be all like:

"The intensity of his gorgeous brown eyes made me want to melt into him."

or

"His skin was so flawless, his hair so artfully messed, his frame so athletic yet slim."

instead, write something like:

 

"He was on the skinny side, more like gangly, really, tall and thin with clumsy movements. Despite his awkward build and stance, he was quite popular; always making his friends burst into laughter, always smiling and cheerful. He did have a rather blunt way of saying things, however, and often unintentionally hurt people's feelings. Despite his flaws, though, he had a heart of gold." -me :P

Show, don't tell. You've heard this before, but I'm serious. Don't say: 

"He was extremely sad."

say

"Emotions ran through him like a wind of silvery knives, jabbing and twisting and slicing at his insides."

And finally, embrace your writing voice: it is your one and only original trait and you must enhance it. Don't try to write like someone you're not. Just write. And make sure, throughout all that prose and dialogue, that a hidden shadow of yourself is recognizable.

Goodbye, or as they would say in Hindi, alvida. Happy writing!